Rocky Woods: Our Cornhole Olympics?

Post date: Aug 12, 2016 11:52:17 AM

Is something missing in Rio...

From the pool to the balance beam, it's been Olympics overload this past week. However, with some of these more obscure sports getting some PR, shouldn't cornhole be shown some love!? Just think of the dozens of people who would tune into ESPN3 to watch it. Well, I don't see cornhole becoming part of the games anytime soon, but that doesn't mean that we can't pretend. If Rocky Woods was to have an opening ceremony, I could see it going something like this...

1. Boston Cornhole - entering the stadium first would be John Moran carrying the BC flag. John completes 75% of his ring walk prior to marching back to the beginning and starting over because "that's the format people want".

2. The McCabe Delegation - with possibly the largest delegation and a few generations in tow, bearing the family crest would be the state champion, Rachael McCabe!

3. Southbridge Cornhole - Joe Masareth is up next proudly waving the Southbridge flag...with Jose right behind him barking out orders.

4. Ocean State Cornhole - Tim Foster is the fourth to enter the arena with his kidnapped partner behind him in cuffs.

5. Rice Baggers - Lance bears the Viet Cong flag as the token white guy.

6. 603 Cornhole - Silence as the NH folks boycott Rocky Woods due to the level of competition.

7. The Cornhole Company of Cape Cod - The Blue Lobster that was recently caught gets the honors to accurately represent the 1 in 2 million odds of someone from The Cape winning this tournament.

8. Team Grew/Prew - Last but certainly not least, Ron Lincks leads out one of the pre-tournament favorites with his index finger raised high to the sky to clearly indicate how many times this team lost last week in Pepperell.

Fortunately, the Rocky Woods Cornhole Festival will have more at stake than bad jokes. I would say that "Team of the Year" honors is a dead heat right now. The Lance/Pigeon duo opened the year hot, Showtime are the MA State Champions, and Team Grew/Prew showed last week that they can win outside of Bridgewater. And on top of pride, there are some very good payouts! Let's not also forget the singles competition. We can only hope that the cornhole drama plays out on the boards tomorrow and some must-see grudge matches come to fruition! Bags fly at 11 AM!